


there's a reason (you're by my side)

by romnovs (tashatops)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Character Study, Developing Relationship, F/F, First Kiss, Getting Together, Polyamory, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 06:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15455202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tashatops/pseuds/romnovs
Summary: It's hard, very hard, for Beau not to fall for Yasha. Falling for Jester is… not exactly easy, not exactly hard, and definitely not something she'd been expecting, but she sort of can't help it.Or,How Beau falls for them (because she's a disaster lesbian)





	there's a reason (you're by my side)

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is but I wrote it and I'm really happy with how it turned out.  
> Title from there's a reason by wet.

It's hard, very hard, for Beau not to fall for Yasha.

It's hard from the moment they meet, what with all the muscle and the greatsword and the _ I  _ will  _ fuck you up if you so much as inconvenience me  _ look and the fact that Yasha is very, very tall. Beau thinks she might have a type.

It's even harder not to like her when she finds most of it is just a façade, a mask Yasha put on to protect her old family, the circus (and, Beau notices, a mask she still puts on now to protect her new family, as weird and broken as it may be).

And it's damn near  _ impossible  _ not to fall for Yasha when she finds Yasha is soft under all that muscle; when she finds Yasha, intimidating as she looks, is shy and soft-spoken and endearingly awkward.

(Unlike Beau, who's awkward in a very different way, who's unpleasant and loud and full of energy, and has to get pointers from Fjord so people won't want to punch her in the face when she talks to them. Although maybe that wouldn't be so bad, she thinks.)

She doesn't even realize she likes Yasha at first. Or, well, she does, but she thinks it's strictly superficial.

(In all honesty, she knows she's falling and knows that, if this thing with Yasha were to end in some meaningless fling, she would be more than a little disappointed. But Beau likes to deny herself many things and this is, apparently, one of them.)

She doesn't even know what to _ do _ with these feelings. Beau has nearly no experience with relationships, let alone romantic ones, and the little experience she does have isn't exactly the best. Besides, Yasha's barely around half the time, so Beau can avoid thinking about her. Except for when she's keeping watch by the fire and wonders what it would be like if Yasha were there to keep her company. Except for when she spots a tall, dark haired figure and her heart skips a beat, only to realize it's not who she'd been expecting at all. Except for when she lays in bed late at night, eyes wide open, and can't help but think how the comfort of Yasha's arms around her would lull her to sleep.

So, yeah, Beau's kind of fucked.

And it gets very fucking hard to be around Yasha, once she finally allows herself to at least acknowledge her own feelings. She's hyper aware of everything Yasha does, her presence, her absence; every time they touch feels like a bolt of lightning through Beau's veins, a punch right to her gut. Yasha takes her hand to help her up after a particularly rough battle and Beau thinks she's gonna have a fucking heart attack.

She needs to get a grip.

(She can't.)

She's sure anyone with a knife could cut through the tension in the room whenever they're alone together. They keep gravitating towards each other, a brush of their hands here, a longing glance there, a smile hidden behind a mug of ale. Beau feels drawn to Yasha in a way she can't quite explain, feels a pull in her chest. 

(She wonders if this is what Yasha feels when she's summoned.)

Their first kiss is in a gritty alley, behind whatever shitty tavern they're staying at right now. Beau follows Yasha outside, because of course she does, and suddenly she's being pushed against the wall and Yasha's lips are on hers, soft. And they haven't had anything to drink yet, but Beau feels  _ buzzed,  _ so she deepens the kiss and gets lost in everything Yasha. 

And it doesn't matter, not anymore, that Yasha leaves and leaves and leaves, that Beau doesn't know how to do any single part of this, and that she's scared shitless.

It doesn't matter because she's kissing Yasha, and Yasha is kissing back, and it feels really fucking  _ good;  _ she wants to keep doing it as long as Yasha will let her.

-

Falling for Jester is… not exactly easy, not exactly hard, and  _ definitely  _ not something she'd been expecting, but she sort of can't help it. Inevitable, is what it is.

(She doesn't struggle against it like she did with Yasha, mostly because she's not aware there's anything to struggle  _ against _ .)

And, really, almost everything about Jester is unexpected. From the ever present traces of powdered sugar all over her, to the way she smiles at Beau (wide, toothy, carefree), to how much she talks to Beau. About a  _ lot  _ of things. 

Whenever they're alone in their room, about to fall asleep, she tells Beau about her childhood, her mother, about her life on the Menagerie Coast, about her adventures before they met, about the traveler and so many other things.

And the thing is, Beau doesn't know what to do with it, is unused to people trusting her so easily. She doesn't quite know what to say, or how to react, but Jester doesn't seem to mind. Which is also something Beau doesn't expect.  She's used to something entirely different, is used to courtsies and tight smiles and  _ etiquette,  _ all so fake and for show that it makes her nauseous just thinking about it. But that's not what she gets with Jester, not at all.

(Really, there's nothing further from etiquette than Jester. Beau kind of loves it.)

And she may not know how to interact with Jester half the time, because everything Jester says is so random and out of the blue that Beau just ends up gaping at her, but they understand each other in a completely different way. And that's good enough for Beau. More than that, really.

(She talks, too, sometimes. She tells Jester about her father and mother, about the Cobalt Soul, about Yasha. And, as talkative and cheerful as Jester is, she sits there and listens, quietly. Beau appreciates it more than she thinks Jester realizes.)

So it's easy to fall for her. It just sort of happens, one morning, when she wakes up with her face close to Jester's, and Jester is mumbling about donuts in her sleep, and Kiri is squished between them and it just feels  _ right. _

(She'd talked to Yasha about Jester, before. Before she'd even figured out her feelings for the tiefling, and Yasha had just smirked at her knowingly. Beau thinks they probably could use another talk.)

Their first kiss is sort of an accident, but the second and third and fourth really aren't. They stumble into their room, more than a little tipsy, and Jester leans in to say something Beau is sure is  _ very _ important. Beau turns her head at just the right moment and suddenly their lips are pressed together.

Beau jumps back, panicking slightly, but then Jester is looking at her through hooded eyes and has Beau ever been known for making good decisions?

So she kisses Jester again and again and again, and tastes Jester's giggles against her mouth. 

“Wow,” Beau says.

“Wow,” repeats Kiri, uncannily close to Beau's raspy voice, and Jester bursts out laughing.

-

Thing is, as much as she likes to pretend she isn't, Beau is a fucking  _ dumbass. _

She's impulsive, makes rash (and usually very poor) decisions, and gets herself in trouble. So, of course, when someone points their crossbow at Kiri and shoots, she reacts. She manages to catch the first bolt, but then there's one, two, three, all sinking into her flesh.

The last thing she hears before everything goes dark is Jester screaming her name. 

-

Beau comes to one time. Or two. Three? She's not so sure anymore. 

The first time everything is heightened, too loud, too bright and,  _ fuck _ , too painful. She hears screams. The clash of metal against metal.  _ Crack _ . Someone snaps one of the bolts in half. She opens her eyes and sees Jester, but she almost doesn't recognize her. She's never seen Jester so worried, without the usual mirth in her eyes and that toothy grin on her face.

She tries to smile.

Everything goes dark again.

-

(The second time she wakes up, the one she doesn't remember, everything is hazy. Opening her eyes seems like  _ too much,  _ so she doesn't. She can hear voices, though. Jester. And… Yasha? Yes, Yasha. 

“She's gonna be okay, I healed her up real good. Don't worry, Yasha!” Jester says.

“I'm going to kill her when she wakes up,” Beau hears Yasha reply, but it's… muffled? Almost like Yasha's face is pressed against something, but Beau doesn't know what.

She doesn't have the energy to figure it out.)

-

The third time she wakes up (and this one she does remember), Jester's head is on her lap, fast asleep, and Yasha's there.  _ Yasha's there _ . That takes a while for her to process.

She stares at Beau, a stern frown on her face. 

“Hi,” Beau rasps out, attempts a smile that probably does not look good at all, but Yasha just  _ melts. _

Or, well, that's what Beau likes to think.  Yasha just rolls her eyes and smiles back, but she considers that a victory.

(That's when Beau notices Yasha is holding Jester's hand and  _ woah _ , when did that happen?)

It doesn't matter that Yasha is probably mad at her for being so careless (and Jester, too), or that Beau has a  _ lot _ of questions for both of them right now, because she's happy. For the first time in a long fucking time, she's  _ happy _ .

Questions can wait, it can all wait.

Jester and Yasha are here, and everything's okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me about these girls on tumblr @beaurcgard


End file.
